Pre-vacay panic

Last day in the office before vacation: running around all day trying to get things to the point where they can carry on without me for a week. Ironically, I’m not that important? I don’t know how this all happened.

But I did get a workout in, a good pull one with rows a billion ways. I’m already sore, should be sore-r tomorrow.

Barbell b/o rows- 4x10x65lb

Upright rows (Smith)- 4x10x65lb

B/o dumbbell rows- 4x10x25lb, each side

Lat pulldown- 3x10x35

Lateral raise machine- 3x10x40

Crunch, jackknife- 2×20

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Strong squats

I have 3 meetings today from 12 – 1pm. It’s just going to be that kind of day. Unless I can clone myself.

I headed straight to the gym this morning, and got a decent workout in– if a bit compressed due to yet another late train. And it was leg day!

Squat – 5x5x135lb
Deadlift – 2x5x185lb
Leg press – 2x10x200lb
Lunge – 2x10x45lb

I didn’t push squats too hard today but they felt really good at the lighter weight (aside from maybe bruising my shoulder blade with the bar? Or uh was that a pimple there that just got irritated?) It was nice to have some strong sets for a change.

My Fitbit band broke and so I’ve been feeling the weirdness of not tracking steps and stuff. In a way it’s kind of liberating– no more fitness panopticon!– but I do miss that extra push to go move. Anyway, they’re sending me a replacement so I’ll have it back soon enough.

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Back to normal(ish)

I’m back from my travel– well technically I was back on Friday. I spent most of the weekend sitting on the couch feeling burnt out. Now that I’m back to the office I’m still feeling kind of burnt out– first thing today was getting cross-examined by my boss about everything I didn’t find out from the meeting last week. I took notes! There are plenty of things we just didn’t get to or that don’t have solid answers yet! The rest of this day is probably going to be trying to answer a lot of other questions about the meeting too. This is fun. When will it stop?

Anyway, since that was first thing in the morning I went to the gym early. I tried to get a few workouts in when I was traveling (aka running in the hotel fitness center) and I went for a swim over the weekend but I’ve been feeling pretty inactive overall. So a quick upper body lifting session today was probably a good ease-back-in activity.

Bench – 4x5x115lb (sigh)
Biceps & Triceps – 3x10x45lb
OHP – 3x10x45lb
Ball crunches and jackknifes

Someday I’ll have lots of energy and want to get back to bigger workouts. Today, though, I’m tempted just to hide in a hole.

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Meetings forever

Not forever, just all this week. Yesterday I battled weather delays all down the east coast to fly down for a work meeting. The topic is contentious and I’m in waaaay above my pay grade. *muffled screaming*

This is something that would be an awful anxiety trigger, so I decided to preempt that by getting all my nervous energy out with a run early in the morning. The little hotel gym is a sweat box (aren’t they always?) but 30 minutes on the treadmill did seem to put me in a positive frame of mind.

The day passed fairly uneventfully, I gave my brief and endured the flood of questions, and day 1 was done. Only 2 more to go.

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Bring my shoulders down from my ears

The finish line is in sight! For this week, at least. Next week is a whole nother can of worms, but that’s next week. I need to wrap up a handful of stuff, then it’s happy hour. I plan on enjoying this weekend damnit! And sleeping… not enough of that lately.

Today’s workout was a combo targeted at burning off excess energy and bringing my shoulders down from my ears. First, 30 minutes on the treadmill, at a slightly more ambitious pace today (covering ~2.5 mi). Then, yoga to try to get me re-embodied and breathing. I’m not sure if the yoga helped me relax much, but it was nice.

I think I mentioned in a previous post that I’ve been thrown into the deep end on a high-impact project. This week has been an blur as I scramble to get stuff together! But despite it being a ton of work, I’m actually finding it a positive experience so far, because all my colleagues are amazing and supportive. I’m not sure if my insecurity has shown through, but I suspect it has a little because people are helping prop me up in a lovely way. I’ve gotten a lot of encouragement and even compliments so far!

So yeah. I’m working my butt off but I feel like it’s for the good of my organization and my coworkers and they’re supporting me and that’s a really nice feeling.

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Moment of sanity at the gym

The gym is where everything makes sense and life is difficult in a manageable way. The rest of the time, not so much. More on that later, but first the workout. It was wonderful to just drop everything and focus on lifting stuff for a bit.

SS#1
Bench – 4x5x115lb
Biceps – 3x10x45lb
Triceps – 3x10x45lb
OHP – 3x10x45lb

SS#2
B/O row – 3x10x65lb
Upright Smith machine row – 3x10x65lb
B/O one arm row – 3x10x20lb, each side
Lat PD – 3x10x35
Delt raise machine – 3x10x35

So, yeah. I have SURPRISE TRAVEL next week to attend a 3-day meeting. I’m supposed to represent my entire worksite (~50 people) and their needs in a planning process about an issue critical to folks continuing their work mission. I have 3 days to talk with people here and then prep with the key points and compile the requirements. My boss did no prep and is abroad now so I’m flying blind.

That’s obnoxious enough on its own, but mix it up with my social anxiety and it is a friggin minefield. The combination of strangers that I’ll continue to work with for 2 years and high-stakes communication is panic-inducing. I talked with my husband about it last night– I need take time to be sure my words are well-considered, but I also need to be able to quickly jump in to a fast-paced conversation with relevant, fully baked ideas, and be prepared to interrupt boorish nerds*. His suggestion, which I like but it’s going to be HARD, is to do my own planning exercise for what might happen in the meeting and prepare responses and a strategy for making sure the things I want to discuss get attention. Maybe someday I’ll be able to go to a meeting without days of prep and planning, but this is not that time.

Also, I need a damn promotion. Have I mentioned I’m in the bottom pay band here and I’m doing this stuff?

* We had a pre-meeting webex yesterday and I asked a question about network access to the other sites (which has been a problem for us, people need to be able to connect to their servers). The dude running the meeting ‘answered’ my question by mansplaining to me what an IP address was and how there was this thing called a firewall. He managed to find the one button to push that would send me completely off the rails! If he plans on talking to me like an idiot at the face to face, there’s gonna be some flipped tables.

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Sequential leg workouts

Change of plans today– I rolled in to the gym ready to do an upperz workout but there were 2 people already trying to share all that stuff so I settled on a leg day instead so I wouldn’t have to fight for the bench. This was a little bit unfortunate– I had leg HIIT on Monday, and that long run yesterday, so my legs are kind of tired! But I did it anyway.

Squat – 5x135lb, 3x5x115lb
Lunge – 4x10x45lb
Stepup – 4x10x30lb, each side
Leg press – 3x10x200lb

And then some bonus core work: ball situps, jackknifes and kettlebell side raises. I do this because my abs are sore. That makes no sense, but whatevs.

My level of work busyness has EXPLODED– I have a surprise work trip next week where I’m covering a meeting for someone who did no prep, so I get to do his prep too! It’s great!!!! Plus the other stuff I needed to do for the next 2 weeks.

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