Thursday… 80% through the week, right? Lifted weights with J this morning. I got to crank up the weight on a couple machines, so that was good. And somehow I managed to finish all my lifting, do a good stretch, shower and dress in just an hour. Speed gym! (Good thing– got a full schedule today.)
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My gym has a number of informational displays on the wall– how to protect yourself from UV exposure, the "muscle of the month", exercises to do when you don’t have a gym handy, etc. They also have a display for "Member of the Month", where they highlight one member and their progress. Usually it’s something along the lines of "Harry’s lost over 100 pounds and feels great! He is now training to be a cage fighter." (I wish I was making this up!)
So I wonder what I’d tell them about me, if I was named Member of the Month? What would I be proud of?
Running While Fat 
I can’t answer for you since: a) I’m not you (duh), and b) I’ve only been reading your blog for a short time, but if it were me — I would want to talk about how much I’ve learned to enjoy my body, not as a matter of how it looks or what it gives others, but as a part of me that can be just for me.
I like that too! But I kind of want to ask you to elaborate on it a little– I get the basic gist but I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around it.
Care to share some more details? :)
Sure. For instance, with running — I’m not a particularly fast runner, and I’ve lost zero weight since I’ve been at it. (In fact, I’m a solid 12lbs. heavier than I was when I started at the beginning of the year.) Viewed from the outside, my running is pretty unimpressive. But I’ve learned to enjoy the mental exercise involved in determining and sticking to the correct pacing for X distance over Y terrain. I’ve also learned to appreciate that — even though I go with a partner — my runs are times that are dedicated almost entirely to me. (My partner and I chat during warm-up and cool down but not during the run itself.) This gives me a chance to use it as sort of a moving meditation (I just typed “medication” and wonder if that was a Freudian slip), to be alone with and work through whatever thoughts or feelings I may be having.
Similarly, in yoga — I will never have what is traditionally thought of as a “yoga body,” either in terms of thin frame (which I don’t got) or visible muscle tone (which, for a lot of my abdomen, is covered by a layer of fat). There are also shapes I’m never going to be able to make due to body size and bone structure. I mean, there are a lot of things at which I am awesome, but a Yoga Journal cover is probably not in my future. I’m proud that I’ve learned to enjoy the sensations — the stretching, the strengthening, even the mental discomfort that arises fr from holding a challenging asana — of the poses I can do and to set goal for poses that I can work toward without being attached to how soon I get there or feeling disappointment from the poses that are just not gonna happen.
Tori, it’s not letting me leave a reply in the thread but I really do love the way you put this! I feel the same way about running– I’m not doing it for anyone besides me and it is a bit of ‘meditation’ since it requires focusing intently on my body for a period of time. I should work harder on the meditation part, maybe– it’s easy to get distracted, especially when I’m at the gym and the tvs are going and people are around.
I am envious of your yoga skill, too :)
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