Slow day at work today; no one is here since it’s the day after Thanksgiving. I am here, though, and I went to the gym this morning for an interminable slog of one hour on the elliptical machine. I don’t like the elliptical. I don’t feel like I’m doing anything. It’s boring and it’s still physically tiring but I don’t get the sense of accomplishment or… doing something… that I get when I run. But I have a twingey foot that needs to heal and I’ll be bouncing off the walls all day if I don’t get some exercise, so elliptical it is.
To alleviate the boredom, I grabbed a magazine and flipped through it cover-to-cover as I hamster-wheeled. It was one of those generic fashion mags; the clothes in it weren’t all that appealing, though they had a big section on haircuts that I found interesting (I need a new style). There were plenty of bits about diets and I skipped those as best I could, and tried to keep in mind that the models and celebrities shown are only realistic on the most basic scale (they’re still human under all the airbrushing), but it still got to me– back in the locker room I found myself thinking about how I should try to lose weight. Hey now, I thought I’d told those thoughts to take a hike! How’d they get back in! Oh… wait.
A thin commenter elseblog was appalled that a fat person might avoid media to stay away from words and pictures that trigger thoughts of poor body image and desire for weight loss. How am I supposed to feel good about my body when I read a magazine that says “This is beautiful” and no one in it looks anything like me? If I avoid the media I can better construct my own framework for beauty that includes all colors, shapes and sizes of bodies.