All the machines!

My feet are still weird, so I’m still off running. The thought of spending 45 minutes on the hamster wheel, I mean, elliptical machine filled me with a sense of dread and impending boredom, so I decided to break it up a bit and use all the kinds of machines in the cardio room.

15 minutes on the elliptical machine
5 minutes on the Stairmaster
15 minutes on the treadmill
10 minutes on the stationary bike

Observation the first: "An elliptical machine moves the feet in a path that simulates jogging." Lies. An elliptical machine is an awkward thing that doesn’t let me use the power of my legs and makes my stride feel weird. Hate it. Haaaaaate.

Observation the second: the Stairmaster was created by demons from the depths of hell. Seriously. Did people actually stay on these machines for long periods of time, back when they were popular? Maybe I had the resistance up too high, but dang. I was hanging off the handlebars by the end of 5 minutes; did I really think I was going to make 15?

Observation the third: okay, self– if you say you’re not going to run, you can’t run. I started walking on the treadmill. "This isn’t really doing anything." Turn the incline up. "Nah, not really." More incline. "Nope." Finally, I just started running, defeating my entire plan. (It was only 5 minutes, that’s okay, right?)

Observation the fourth: Wow, the bike was harder than I thought! I was actually sweating a lot and getting my heart rate up. (My fake pace was 18-19mph, so that’s a pretty good load, I guess.) It would’ve been nice to have something to read, though. I settled for just putting my elbows up on the rest and closing my eyes for short periods; I didn’t have to worry about falling off or going anywhere.

Maybe I ought to use the bike more. It was kind of nice.

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