I finished today’s 30 minute tempo run without fanfare. This week is taper week, leading up to the race on Friday. I mostly just want it to be over. I’m not feeling empowered or confident or anything. More than likely, this is just routine crankiness and it’ll pass but still, I’m ready to run that 5k and move the heck on.
I really don’t like races anyway– I always say "the only person I have to beat is myself" but really, standing there with a bunch of people who are going to finish in less than a half hour is annoying at best and disheartening at worst. (The race is a run/walk so at least the handful of walkers will be behind me?) But yeah, adding competition to something is guaranteed to make me feel icky. I know there must be plenty of folks out there who run like me, but I never see them at races. (Maybe because they feel awful about them too.)
I accompanied my partner to the gathering his large extended family had for Easter. He struggled to find things to talk about with family members he sees only rarely, so once or twice he talked about my long run the day before. The reactions were an odd combination of disbelief and indifference. "7 miles?" along with a long up-and-down appraisal. "Huh." And then they’d move on to talking about their kids or something. (I guess it was better than asking me when I was going to have kids? Got plenty of that too.)