Optimism all around

I had a plan for a kinder, gentler lifting day today– I’m still sore from Tuesday. However, it wasn’t really kinder nor gentler; I did what I always do for the most part, but I took 10 pounds off the deadlifts and only did one set. I did get upright rows in, though, and I added an overhead shoulder press with dumbbells– that was hard! I only had 15lb in each hand and my shoulders were tired after 15 reps. (I optimistically first tried with 25lb dumbbells, and decided after 3 reps that it wasn’t a good idea.) Shoulders: not my strongest part– gotta work on that. I’m still struggling with my squats form too; my knees constantly want to collapse inward.

Regular readers may remember that over the past couple months I was having some pretty serious issues with feeling comfortable in my own skin and my body image in general. For the most part, I think it’s worked itself out and I’m feeling much better. (A big help was sitting down with my partner and having a chat about some TMI stuff that needed work. He’s been fantastic and supportive about it and it’s been a big relief to me.)

There’s getting to be a nice crew of women at the gym! For a while the locker room was empty at that time of the morning, but there are some new folks. None hang out in the free weight room, but maybe someday…

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2 Responses to Optimism all around

  1. Gingerzingi says:

    You know, this may be problematic to admit, but I’m very glad I met my husband BEFORE I was very fat. I’ve never been skinny or normal-weight, but I wasn’t very fat in my younger years. In a weird way, he’s been able to experience getting fat along with me; he’s always loved me at whatever size I am, so he doesn’t have to “decide” whether I’m within his parameters of attractive. I know he’ll always be attracted to ME, no matter what.

    Arrgh. I know I’m not describing this well, it’s a difficult concept. I suppose what it is, ultimately, is that my husband loves my body a lot more than I do, which sounds like your partner as well. I should really take a lesson from him.

    I think, too, that a lot of men are much more accepting of female bodies than we realize. Sure, there’s a superficial layer of being ridiculously picky – fueled, I believe, by pornography – but when it comes down to it, I think most men are attracted to most women. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.

    At any rate, I’m glad you’re feeling more comfortable in your own skin, whether or not it’s framed by the male perspective.

    • G says:

      Thanks. The issue in question for more sort of a commitment to quantity, as it were, so although it wasn’t an issue to do with me at all, it manifested in those sort of feelings.

      When I met my partner I was fatter than I am now. But he encourages me in the activities I love to do and reassures me that he likes me at all my sizes.

      I think it’s common to worry about what our partners think of our bodies, but I also think the hardest and most important work is getting to the point where we’re just comfortable with ourselves.

      (For what it’s worth, I think even things that might be seen as problematic to admit are okay to admit, as long as you do so with honesty. And I commend your honesty!)

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