Privilege at the pool

Jeez, another tough lifting day! My bench was awfully wobbly and I had to stop after 6 reps (luckily J was there to help, yikes). (I did another set with 20lb less on the bar later, and that was much better, unsurprisingly.) My forearms and hands are tired and sore. Deadlifts weren’t much help, either. At least my squats went well? There was lots of grunting though, and one of my locker room buddies walked by as I was finishing a set and cheered, "You did it! Good job!" Yay support. :)

Getting the plates on and off the barbells has been a challenge lately– the humidity seems to have made the ends of the bars sort of rusty so the plates won’t slide. It’s a good workout right there, wrestling the plates around.

A friend has invited me over for a pool day this weekend, and I’m debating if I should wear my bikini or not. It’s sort of a tricky thing, I guess. (This friend was the one that got me on the C25k wagon in the first place, which makes her the original inspiration for everything on this blog!) I’ve known her for a long time, and our body sizes have fluctuated over the years; my body’s gotten a little smaller, and hers has gotten a little bigger, and I’m a little worried that she’ll think I’m saying "neener" with my stupid polka-dot bikini.

I mean, I can preach fat acceptance all the live-long day, but I still feel like my privilege is showing in this case. As a smaller fat person, I face less resistance to wearing a bikini. But I’m still a fat person in a bikini, and that feels like an act of self-expression and something I want to feel comfortable doing around good friends. I will think about how to handle this…

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8 Responses to Privilege at the pool

  1. Sam B says:

    Just wear the bikini!

  2. Tori says:

    Also, both as a woman and as a fat person (regardless of size of fat), it is in itself a radical act to wear what you want and not give a fuck. ;)

  3. Gingerzingi says:

    Now you HAVE TO WEAR THE BIKINI. Peer pressure!!

  4. Gingerzingi says:

    I love that you are so kind and so conscious of your friend’s feelings, but when it comes down to it, you each live in your own bodies and each have to deal with what society throws your way. You can’t protect her by not wearing your bikini. I don’t think she’s going to perceive any neenering unless you actually make that sound.

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