I hoped for a run today, but I missed the narrow window between “pouring down rain but pretty warm” and “Arctic blast”. Therefore, more Dance Central, about an hour’s worth. It’s not bad (and it is fun, as shown by the silly smile on my face when I play) but I was hoping for more strenuous activity. Oh well– tomorrow I start Stage 4 of NRoL4W so it’s all good.
The community of people who blog about fitness is very broad. I read a great bunch of folks (hi!) but sometimes I get frustrated because my goals vary so dramatically from other people’s and a lot of the time I feel like I don’t have a safe place to stand.
I set my own definition of success, and I work towards that. But when I apply other people’s definitions of success to myself, everything I’m doing is a failure. I might be stronger and faster but I’ve never “leaned out” and I’m certainly not posting photos of my abs.
I always find it shocking how people who spend lots of time trying to fix their disordered eating and body image still rejoice when they get closer to fitting an ideal. They might not say “I don’t want to be fat” but it’s always there as subtext. And that’s fine; people can change their bodies if that’s what they want. But it sure isn’t subversive or radical or different.
And a lot of the time I find myself needing radical self-love to survive in a world that is hostile to my body.