Failed to take the edge off

Once again, I go to the gym hoping that a good workout will take the edge off my anxiety and anger… only to find that it never really works that way…

Today’s scheduled run was a 35 minute tempo run; I broke it down 10-15-10 and worked extra hard. Fan-turning-off Man was just leaving as I arrived, and I cheered silently and turned the fan on– but then he came back and insisted I turn it off because he was so very cold. Meanwhile, I’m dripping sweat and wheezing with effort. (Maybe if he worked a little harder he wouldn’t be so cold.) Then some other guy came and asked all the dudes (but not me, I’m invisible) if they were watching the tv and if they minded if he changed it. Whatever, ESPN and MSNBC are both junky distractions. (Personally I prefer PBS, Dinosaur Train is on! But no one asked.) Man, the gym has been miserable for me lately! I’m tempted to just cancel my membership. I just feel like this thing that ought to be a source of joy is a source of repeated frustration.

Ugh, I pretty much hate everything. And I’m dealing with some family drama that I really want to just ignore but can’t. Not in a good head-place.

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About G

I'm running while fat. And learning other fun ways to honor my body.
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2 Responses to Failed to take the edge off

  1. maitriscraps says:

    Yuck. Can you talk to the gym owners or managers about him turning off the fan? Because if someone gets overheated, it could be life threatening, but he’s not going to pass out from being chilly. Personally I have to have my iPad set up on any machine that I use, so that I can watch Doctor Who or Sherlock or something while I run. Can’t stand trying to follow a TV near the ceiling.

    • G says:

      The room isn’t super hot, I just get hot! It’s probably around 70ºF. The fan makes a big difference in how hard I can work out, though.

      Honestly, everything’s going to change as soon as it starts to warm up. In the summertime that room’s an oven and there are 2 fans going full blast and everyone’s complaining about the stuffiness! (And I prefer to run outside when it’s warm anyway.)

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