an incredible feeling

Today’s a no running fun day. I went to the gym and elliptical’d for 20 minutes, then did some nice yoga and stretched. Can you believe this horrible toe blister is still going? Even after I tried to break it. I keep hoping it will finally heal up but nope…

Sometimes I wonder if my personal philosophy about activity and body acceptance is just too far out to share, but it works so well for me despite the fact that it falls well outside mainstream opinion. Letting go of weight loss as a goal has radically transformed my life. Letting go of self-criticism of my body enabled me to learn to use it effectively and push it to new achievements. Setting aside criticism from outside myself led me to be more comfortable in my body– and more comfortable doing activity in public, where I sometimes feel scrutinized as a fat body daring to exercise. I’ve had to learn to listen to my body, to recognize what it needs, to give it enough rest and fuel and care.

I have a good friend who firmly subscribes to the "weight loss = health" life, and she’s taken up going to the gym and started c25k (which I think is great! yay activity!) We’ve been chatting about her progress a lot– she’s really excited about it. She has a hard time, though; she keeps getting hurt. I’ve suggested that it might help if she takes more rest days and thinks about eating more/differently, and both these things are so far outside her philosophy that she refuses, and yet she wonders why she’s always fighting an injury.

Maybe I’m just too fanatical? I recognize that everyone’s body and experiences are unique. But, jeez. If a person has been pursuing a goal using a particular method for many years and it hasn’t been successful, maybe it’s not the fault of the person, it’s the method. I feel like society says "this is what you need to do to have an acceptable body" and no one questions it, we just beat ourselves up over failing to achieve this socially acceptable body. But the method is snake oil, and the acceptable body is a arbitrary, moving goalpost, and therefore we’re never satisfied.

So yeah, I let all that go. (It is still a work in progress, too.) And I feel really good about that, and I want to share it, because being comfortable and happy in my own skin is an incredible feeling.

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About G

I'm running while fat. And learning other fun ways to honor my body.
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4 Responses to an incredible feeling

  1. lozette says:

    I love this <3

    • G says:

      Thank you!

      As far as my friend goes, I just feel like I’ve learned these lessons the hard way and want to share. I guess she’ll find her own way…

  2. runningintheclay says:

    Thank you for getting your philosophy out there. I find it inspiring and helpful. I got tired of not being a runner because I do not look like a runner, and when I read your posts it reinforces my commitment to not let that affect me anymore.

    • G says:

      I’m glad you find it useful :) Keep going! You’ll build up strength and endurance and make good changes in your body.

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