Well, that was an exciting 45 minutes! Squat/Bench/Row today, 145/110/75. I’m debating if I’m capped out on squats; I know I’m capped out on bench. I know I’m capped out on bench because I missed the last rep of the last set (thank goodness J was there spotting me– I’m glad I had the good sense to ask him for help). Squats were very hard too; I was doing a lot of grunting, even in the first set. I’m not self-conscious about making noise, but I usually don’t, so that gives me an idea of how hard I had to work. I think I’ll do 145 again on Thursday, and maybe add 5lb next week if it feels doable.
I’ve been thinking about the goal of lifting my body weight. I think for deadlift it’s absolutely an achievable goal– I’m not too far from it now, and I’m still progressing smoothly. Squats will take longer, but I might be able to get there. Bench… that’s definitely a stretch goal. Somewhere back in my brain, something is saying "if you weighed less, this would be easier". But that voice is full of shit. If I weighed less, I wouldn’t be as strong! Some of this glorious muscle would go away too. (Of course some people of all weights lift their body weight. But if I weighed say 145 at the same relative strength as I have now, I obviously wouldn’t be squatting 145lb.)
I made a bad mistake loading up the bar for bench today. I lay down for the first rep, lifted the bar, and it felt weird. Unbalanced. I wrestled it back onto the stand, then looked: The right side was loaded 25lb, 5lb, 2.5lb, and the left was loaded 35lb, 5lb, 2.5lb. Oops. I pulled the 35lb plate off and fixed it and continued. That was a scary moment though, and my first impulse was to tell myself, "No you’re being crazy, there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just a tough lift, stop stalling". I’m glad I trusted myself to double-check it.