Today was another fantastic lifting day– I went in for squats, bench and row and got all my sets done easily at 175/115/90. Bench went better than I’d expected, given that I just increased the weight last week. I did my sets a little bit fast and that made it easier to finish them all. Next week I’ll put 120lb on there and go back to struggling. I finished up my workout with an extracurricular 50lb each hand farmer’s walk across the gym. One of the staff members likes to cheer me on while I’m walking– he’s like "Yeah! Farmer’s walk! Get that grip!" It’s pretty amusing.
(tw:diet talk) The drama around that stupid book continues; I talked to my mom this morning (she also received a copy) and she tried to reassure me that I didn’t need to diet– apparently as a mom, she’s supposed to tell me that my body is acceptable enough that surely I would find such a suggestion offensive (though I’m actually offended by the shitty book, not by the suggestion that I ought to diet). She knows I’ve given up on dieting and dieting culture entirely. It was an odd conversation.
I see my extended family, aunts, uncles and cousins, maybe twice or three times a year– I live halfway across the country from them– and yet when things blow up they’re the source of so much unrest in my life. Maybe it’s because I see them so rarely and I want to maintain a good but maybe distant relationship. I always feel a lot of pressure to smooth things over. On the other hand, I’m glad I don’t live closer so they aren’t all up in my life (which they very much disapprove of)… 95% of the time I live my life without feeling scrutiny, but that 5% is intense and I really hate it.