So much going on

Today started early: 7:30 am yoga class. As usual, it was nice and chill. Well, except for my boss’ boss walking in! But it turns out that she’s totally new to yoga, so it really wasn’t intimidating to twist myself up in front of the woman who signs my performance reviews– and indeed, the pressure I had was to model good form, because she was probably looking at me to see what she needed to do. These are the risks inherent to going to the gym at work.

After that, lifting time! Squats/OHP/deadlifts, 180/80/210. Yes, there’s that bodyweight deadlift! (Or close to it, anyway. If I get to 215lb next week, it’ll bracket it.) I was so excited that I went and got my camera to take a picture of the bar, but it turned out to look totally unimpressive. (I put it up on tumblr anyway.) The lift itself was not nearly as gratifying as the lead-up to it was. I did my 5 reps, barely kept my grip, and that was it. It’s funny; I got really excited about the 200lb DL, and now I’m like "enh whatever, add another 5lb". It doesn’t help that it’s a single set– I have to battle my way through 5 sets of squats so I feel like I’ve earned it, but DLs go so fast. Oh well, it’s not about my ego, it’s about getting stronger.

Now I have a couple hours to catch my breath/stress out before I give a talk this afternoon. I mean, the talk is on a topic I’ve been working on for years and I’m really excited about, and I’m giving it to a sympathetic audience (and more of a general audience than I expected, so I have to spend more time on background slides). It shouldn’t be too bad. I just hate public speaking, and yesterday I gave a casual practice talk to a coworker and it was sort of a hot mess so I need to remember to keep my head while I talk. If I can’t get it sorted for just one friendly person, how am I going to deal with a roomful?

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About G

I'm running while fat. And learning other fun ways to honor my body.
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2 Responses to So much going on

  1. Gingerzingi says:

    I hope your talk went well. I’m sure the audience appreciated it, and no one cares if you make the occasional fumble – it’s not like they paid $200 each for an evening of entertainment! LOL maybe they did, stranger things have happened in your field.

    Considering what a seething mass of anxieties I am, it’s odd that public speaking doesn’t bother me. But I share your telephone anxiety – I would a million times rather address an audience of hundreds than have to cold-call a stranger.

    • G says:

      $200 each would’ve been nice! But it went pretty well I think; at least I didn’t make any big mistakes or run my mouth or anything. However, the talk was recorded for posterity so maybe someone down the road will watch it and get pissed off. Who knows.

      I spent a week preparing for the talk, which made it a little easier. If I had a script and time to prepare for making phone calls, it would be easier too :)

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