I didn’t make it out for a run today until the late afternoon, and I spent the entire day with metaphorical ants in my pants, wondering when I was going to gooooooo. Finally, after eyeing the weather report with trepidation, I headed out– and it immediately started to rain. But it was the nicest rain! Tiny little drops that misted me gently with their coolness.
Of course it stopped after 10 minutes. Goodbye lovely tiny raindrops :(
Anyway, I had a very mixed run. The good parts were really good; I ran the first mile in 11:30– heading uphill. Mile 2 was crap (it usually is; I should work on that) and the 0.8 remaining was faster again. 2.8mi in 35 minutes. Not bad for me, and also not bad considering it was 84F and 95% humidity. I’ll take it.
I did a little shopping over the weekend and went to Target. They actually had the tech tanks that I like! Not racerback! I was so happy. No luck on the mesh pants, though– nothing but leggings and short shorts as far as the eye can see.
I tried on a few dresses too and wound up with some disconnect between my own self-image and what I saw in the butt-facing mirror in the dressing room. In my mind I’m hourglassy; in that mirror I saw a brick with hips. (The baggy-backed cut of the dress wasn’t helping; it wasn’t exactly fine tailoring. But it had pockets!) I’m glad I’m better at shrugging off body image junk than I used to be, but it was frustrating. I’m exercising a lot and getting fit and strong and my body just doesn’t seem to reflect it the way I feel like it “should”. The shoulds are going to kill me one of these days…
Running While Fat 
Nice post title. I tend to get the shoulds when I see photos of myself. I wondered for a long time if it meant that I actually had a better body image than I should, given how I clearly looked. These days I’m older, and I just don’t worry as much, though I still avoid full body photos. Sigh.
It’s funny how getting older kind of smooths over those rough edges, isn’t it? I’m glad of it.
The “should”s are the worst, I get them too. Logically, we know they’re bs, but still they nibble away at our psyches :-(
Changing room mirrors are evil! I refuse to believe my butt looks like that. It’s my story and I’m sticking to it :)
They are… I was wondering if the ones at Target were deliberately making me look awful, but that’d be pretty counterproductive to buying things, wouldn’t it? I should go into business making flattering lighting and mirrors for stores…
I just bought a non-racerback tech tank at target (what a mouthful) this week. I bought shorts too, but they were compression style, nearly knee length. Super comfy running outfit. :) I tried on a dress also, and hated the way it looked on me so much that I stopped trying things on. I was there for jeans for the kid, so we just went back to that. Only mentioning it so you know you’re not alone.
I love a nice, cool misty rain when I run. :) This heat/humidity is for the birds, tho.