I’m not so tough

This is not a workout-of-the-day blog post. I haven’t been able to do anything more strenuous than getting myself around the house since Wednesday, when I hurt my back. I was very lucky; I had my physical scheduled for Thursday and I dragged myself there and my doctor had pity on me and prescribed me muscle relaxers so I’ve at least had medication to help mitigate the pain.  Today I’m finally starting to feel a little better.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking. As I wince and shuffle my way through the world, I keep having urges to tell everyone that I’m hurt and in pain, that I’m not normally like this. Why? Because I’ve cultivated a self-image of being super-capable, tough, able to do whatever I might ask of myself. But it’s so fragile.

Maybe I should do some thinking about how I define myself. Probably after I’m off meds that make me foggy and sleepy, though :)

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6 Responses to I’m not so tough

  1. ebay313 says:

    Sometimes my health flare up in such a way that I can’t walk more than a few steps at a time, and I feel that urge to tell people that normally I’m not like that! I know it’s kind of ridiculous but I still feel that.

    • G says:

      It must be tough dealing with that kind of intermittent disability– not just on a physical level of getting around but also the kind of mental stress that comes along with uncertainty. Judgement (real or perceived) from strangers is icing on the awful cake. :-/

  2. chasingdownhealthy says:

    I am so sorry that you’re in pain and having to dial it back. I can really REALLY relate to your last paragraph. I’m sure sore from Sunday, and back to work hobbling around pretty slowly. I keep feeling like people are looking at me like some out of shape blob and I just want to shout at them that I ran 13 miles and I’m just SORE…

    You are super-capable (and so strong!) and you just have to take care of yourself right now. I wish for a speedy recovery for you.

  3. Pingback: 2015 Recap | Running While Fat

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