It’s worth it

My schedule called for a straightforward 3 miler today, but I just could not get motivated to put my shoes on and get out the door! Usually I go in the morning, but that didn’t happen… then it was afternoon… then it was 5pm and getting dark (thanks Fall Back) so I finally went out, if only to get it done so I could start dinner to be ready when my partner got home. (House rule: no going out when the oven’s on. Probably wise. And dinner is baked tofu, so…)

The 3 miles went pretty easy though, even on my rolling hills route. It felt good; I was pleased. I finished in a bit over 38 minutes, with nice negative splits. (I can probably give some of the credit to being hopped up on sugar– darn leftover Halloween candy. When did they start making Sweet-Tarts  in shapes though!?)

(tw, weight loss junk follows) When I was in Michigan I visited my grandparents, and my grandpa (with obvious pride) asked if I was still running. It’s funny that I’m known as the family runner; among all their grandkids I’m by far the oldest and fattest. I think they all expected me to get much thinner, but they’ve kind of accepted it in a bemused way.

With the race coming up, thoughts of weight loss have been crossing my mind again. My diet could probably use some tightening up (AHEM Halloween candy) but in a way I just don’t want to bother. I feel fine and think I look fine, I have lots of clothes I like, my weight is super stable and 99% of the time my weight is not a barrier. (Spoken like a true smaller fat, eh.)

And frankly, it’s really, really nice to enjoy my activity without having it tied to hopes of weight loss. I don’t run because I need to burn X calories today, I run because it’s pretty fun and I’m trying to get better at it. Given my history with trying to lose weight, if weight loss was my motivation I would’ve given up activity long ago. But decoupling exercise from weight loss leaves the joy in it. It’s not a chore, and it’s not something I have to do (at least when I’m not on a training schedule). I enjoy it, and it feels good. It’s still worth it.

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About G

I'm running while fat. And learning other fun ways to honor my body.
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6 Responses to It’s worth it

  1. Cheyanne says:

    I love it. I’m trying to re-define my relationship with exercise (it’s not even THAT exciting. Just a morning walk). For too long it’s been something I should do to lose weight and then I get mad because I don’t think I should HAVE to lose weight (I look good ;) ) but everyone (doctors, mostly) tells me I should be under 115 lbs. Then I get defiant and just keep eating whatever I want and it’s just NOT healthy. So, I’m trying to use it as a way to get some fresh air and sunshine in. And maybe take some time for mental health benefits. Or something.

    To be honest, it’s only my second day. I went for my walk (with BAD cramps), smelled someone smoking a cigarette and puked in front of half a dozen high school students. So. Things aren’t going super great so far but I’m confident it will get better :) HA!

    • G says:

      That’s a great attitude– to commit to the activity long enough to build the habit while letting go of expectations about what will happen, and then see what actually does! Just stay away from the smokers (ugh, I feel you on that one!)

  2. Julie says:

    I got back into running last year because I needed to exercise – looking back I realised I was depressed and stressed out and running brought joy back to my life. I think the mental health benefits outweigh the physical and it’s so worth sticking with it till you feel it.

  3. stephieann8 says:

    I’m trying to build myself up to running. I hit the gym everyday (too cold to go outside) to walk 3 miles on the treadmil.

    • G says:

      Yep, this is terrible weather to go outside, so thank goodness for treadmills! Have you ever looked at the Couch to 5k program? That’s how I got started; it’s a good way to ease into running longer distances. Good luck!

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