My schedule called for a straightforward 3 miler today, but I just could not get motivated to put my shoes on and get out the door! Usually I go in the morning, but that didn’t happen… then it was afternoon… then it was 5pm and getting dark (thanks Fall Back) so I finally went out, if only to get it done so I could start dinner to be ready when my partner got home. (House rule: no going out when the oven’s on. Probably wise. And dinner is baked tofu, so…)
The 3 miles went pretty easy though, even on my rolling hills route. It felt good; I was pleased. I finished in a bit over 38 minutes, with nice negative splits. (I can probably give some of the credit to being hopped up on sugar– darn leftover Halloween candy. When did they start making Sweet-Tarts in shapes though!?)
(tw, weight loss junk follows) When I was in Michigan I visited my grandparents, and my grandpa (with obvious pride) asked if I was still running. It’s funny that I’m known as the family runner; among all their grandkids I’m by far the oldest and fattest. I think they all expected me to get much thinner, but they’ve kind of accepted it in a bemused way.
With the race coming up, thoughts of weight loss have been crossing my mind again. My diet could probably use some tightening up (AHEM Halloween candy) but in a way I just don’t want to bother. I feel fine and think I look fine, I have lots of clothes I like, my weight is super stable and 99% of the time my weight is not a barrier. (Spoken like a true smaller fat, eh.)
And frankly, it’s really, really nice to enjoy my activity without having it tied to hopes of weight loss. I don’t run because I need to burn X calories today, I run because it’s pretty fun and I’m trying to get better at it. Given my history with trying to lose weight, if weight loss was my motivation I would’ve given up activity long ago. But decoupling exercise from weight loss leaves the joy in it. It’s not a chore, and it’s not something I have to do (at least when I’m not on a training schedule). I enjoy it, and it feels good. It’s still worth it.