Back in the weight room today– it feels like it’s been forever. It’s been almost a week, I guess! It was a push day today and my bench press wasn’t feeling better for the break. I failed one rep of the last set– I didn’t have a spot today, and was feeling unconfident, so I left it at 4 when rep 4 was hard. I added a little weight to the accessories, though.
Bench press – 3x5x130lb, 4x130lb
Overhead press – 4x5x75lb
Narrow grip incline bench press – 3x5x75lb
Triceps – 3x10x45lb
Shrug – 3x10x30lb each hand
Lateral raise – 3x10x45
Rope pushdown – 3x10x100
+ bonus crunches on a ball
My motivation is flagging– the wedding is in about a month and I’m just like blah, I’ll just go for a walk, give me a margarita and some chips. I’ve been lifting heavy and eating weird keto stuff for 2 months and literally nothing happened, aside from getting stronger. Which is just fine, and was certainly one of my goals, but I was kind of hoping against hope that there would be some appearance-based change. And there wasn’t. Well, my arms and back got beefier. I guess that’s not exactly what I was hoping for. Yesterday at the fitting my friend took a bunch of pictures and yep, my arms and back are kind of huge now, and still well-padded.
It’s funny how the wedding is bringing out so much insecurity about my appearance. My fiancee thinks I look fine how I am, and usually I do too. But stick me in a big poofy dress and add the weight of a zillion years of feminine expectations and suddenly my hair’s too short and my back’s too big. This may be the #1 drawback of this gorgeous dress: all of the sudden I have to fit it, rather than the other way around.