No run on the schedule today, so I went to the gym and lifted a little bit before hurrying to my first meeting of the day. I remember when I was strong…
Bench – 5x5x95lb (this was annoyingly tough, sigh)
Biceps – 2x10x20lb, each side
OHP – 2x10x45lb
Back extensions – 2×10
Triceps – 2x10x35lb
Then, into the meeting maelstrom that is my Thursday. I’m working on a really big project that’s merging multiple systems into one– these are never fun projects to start with, and this one is intense. I can attribute a lot of my PM success to just being someone who has good relationships with people and can communicate across divisions and projects. Being a pleasant person who’s accountable for things goes surprisingly far.
But this project is testing me. I don’t think the folks from the other systems are trying to be deliberately antagonistic, but man they’re being a bunch of buttholes, particularly the ones on the "lead" system who think everything should just be done their way. I’m not the most tactful person, but I do try. Today, I was literally steaming, hopping mad and yelling on this call. (And it takes a lot to make me lose my temper!)
Ironically, my boss would probably approve of this; he’s worried that I will be too nice and not forceful enough. My concerns were perfectly valid and I had good reason to be upset. But I’m worried about the fallout of being a woman displaying negative emotion in a work environment– I suspect that people will try to paint me as irrational or "not a team player" (which is the kiss of death on this project, where we’re supposed to be joining into one big team). Other members of my group are grumpy (also for good reasons) but I was always the one who tried to shine a positive light on things.
So I guess I’d better get back into line and start trying to smooth everyone’s hurt feelings over. Ugh.