So I have been feeling less than 100% lately. A toothache turned into a course of antibiotics and an appointment with a specialist later this week, and the antibiotics have just knocked the stuffing out of me– by the end of the day I’m running on fumes, and I fall into bed and sleep like a rock and am tired still in the morning. Not to mention the havoc it’s wreaking on my guts. (I have some probiotics waiting for the end of the antibiotic regimen. It’s kind of woo– $3o of woo– but maybe it’ll help?)
Today I felt the influence of some pretty severe grumpiness. (Funny calling it grumpiness; that sounds so tame. Anything involving that much urge to self-harm is more than grumpiness, probably. Hooray for understatement.) I figured dragging myself out for a run would be good for me, might get rid of some of the feels. Well, it didn’t work. 35 minutes and 2.7 miles later I still felt like crap. Sweaty crap.
It’s frustrating because I know exactly what’s triggering me and it is out of my control. I’m reacting very poorly to it and I don’t like how I’m acting. I always find myself wanting to talk it out, but this blog isn’t the right venue, nor is any sort of social media, really. Maybe a therapist can help me keep my inner brat under control (and keep me from lashing out at the people I care about).